I don't really believe the Bible.

Don't get me wrong here. I believe the Bible. I just don't believe the Bible.

Let me explain. Yes. I do. I do believe the Bible. I claim it and I thoroughly buy everything it says. But I don't believe it in the sense that, I don't believe it to the point of taking it literally and live it out. I've been told, that I am going the direction I need to. That He is using me. But I had a very humbling discussion today with a friend of mine.

I don't ask you to agree with I am about to say. I just beg of you, on your behalf; take an honest look at yourself. Put everything in the table.

Let me ask you, do you want to die? If you do, is it be cause of the circumstances in your life?

I do. For that reason. I hate my life. I hate my life because of my sin. And because of my lack of Radical obedience to God's word. Who knows. Maybe you hate it because of things that are stressing you out. Or maybe for the sake reasons that I want to. Who knows.

But we shouldn't be like that! We should love this life. the only reason that we should dare ask God to take us away is for the purpose if living with Him for eternity. We should be like Paul in that, we should not know whether we wanted to die and see Christ, or live and see more come to Christ. Philippians 1:21-23.

Do you notice in this as well, that there is no question for Paul as to whether or not he will serve? Of course there wasn't a question! It was his life! Why isn't it ours? Why don't we go to the places we fear? Christ didn't bow to fear! No. Rather as a King, He destroyed it. We are co heirs with Christ! That means that we don't have to bow to fear because we only bow to our King! Because we are subject to One!

Do you truly wait anxiously, and on excitement for the return of Christ? Do you looked forward to it? I don't always. Because I am so focused with what I want! No. My desires are not bad. In fact I can back them with Scripture! But first and above all things. I follow Christ. Nothing else. Not my dad. Not the police. Not the president. I follow my KING. I live to make His Kingdom known! If we really have given this life to Christ, then it doesn't belong to us. I give myself entirely to God. He lives in me.

Give me Christ' Mission. I'm not afraid to die cause I'm already dead. I live only in Christ.

To the world I go. God, I beg You. Count me worthy to die brutally for You.

I believe this enough to die for it.

John Mark,

When walking, Our Feet get dirty.

Something I have struggled with in my life is sin. (no duh).
But I mean sin a bit differently. I struggle with the sins I've already committed. The memory. The guilt. I know good and well that I am forgiven. But it goes beyond that. It goes to thinking about everything God has called us to be and the realization that I don't live up to that. This is my struggle.

Not many people know this, but several months ago I nearly walked away from Christianity because of this. Not that I didn't believe I was saved. I wholeheartedly believed that. It was that I refused to be fake in my life. I want to be real. Especially with God. And looking at my life, I wasn't. And that tore me apart.
So I sat in my room and I prayed, asking God to help me. Because I didn't want to just stop. I love Christianity. I love Christ.

After awhile I began to think about how I would live my life without Christ, because my whole life revolved around Him. And I decided that even if I did walk away I would still hold to my convictions. Because I still believed they were what's right.

And then it hit me. 1st John 2:5 it says, by this we know that we live Him, if we keep His commands. You see, in that moment God showed me that, all we need is the willingness to obey. And He will take it from there.

In the Gospel of John, chapter 13; Jesus goes to wash the Disciples feet. But Peter objects! He tells Christ not to. But when Jesus tells Him that in order to get into the Kingdom he must be cleansed. Peter then tells Jesus, to wash him entirely. But look at Jesus'; you are already cleansed, you need only to wash your feet.

What Jesus said can be taken two ways. That one, yes, we will mess up in this life, but that doesn't mean we are worthless to Christ. We just need to let Him wash our "feet" so to speak.
Second is that, as messengers in this world, our feet will get dirty if we are walking around as we should. But we still need to let Christ wash our feet.

Either way. We need to make sure that we spend time with Christ every day. He will clean our feet, and get us ready to go again. Don't give up. He's got your back.

Thanks for reading,

John Mark,

On My Mind...

I see myself as a very poetic person. I don't simply write words, I love words. Every word I say, or write, is strategically placed so as to get my exact point across. (Though sadly, sometimes only in a way that I understand.) I have always been told, how I have a way with words, and quite honestly, I agree, 100%. I do, it is a gift from God.

Think about that, that one line, A Gift From God. Today is Christmas Eve. I have a little less than two hours before the end of the day and the break of the new one. Today, tomorrow, this season, is all about gifts. Though, I believe it should focus on one Gift in Particular.

But here's the deal!

God did not give us only one gift! He continually blesses us day to day! The gifts abound and abound. For instance, Spiritual Gifts, Talents and natural Abilities, Luxury, Wealth, Comfort. All Gifts given so that we may have the greatest of opportunities to Glorify God!

Now all of this, is relatively irrelevant to what I intend to discuss. I intend to discuss my inclination to Poetic communication.

I know, I know. As you go into this, thoughts about my pasts posts, that included my views on emotional purity will spring up. But bear with me here! But to help you understand in the absolute most possible manor, let me give some back drop.

Let me be honest, though I feel, this will back fire on me, I will be perfectly honest.

There's this girl.

Before you get on my case, I said pursue, I never said that I would abolish any interest in a girl. I state, with absolute certainty that to do so is humanly impossible.

But, whenever ever I talk to this girl, or even think about her, (which tends to be frequently,) my mind slips to poetry. Thinking about the absolute most eloquent thing I could say. The absolute most poetic or flattering thing I could write. I literally battle myself from saying these things.

But it hit me today. As much as I think about her. And as much as I want to say eloquent things to her. How much more, does God wish to say such things to those that He loves the most?
I find that I have neglected that Christ bears a love that no man could understand, and that no being except He that bears it, could possibly deserve.

Really, please, take some serious time to think over this! Christ wants to talk to you, all the time! He thinks about you, all the time! He prays for and about you, all the time! Jesus Christ loves you, All The Time!

This is astounding to me. The God of all Creation: Whoa.

God, I love you too.

Thanks for reading,

John Mark,

Christ. You. Amaze. Me.

I am simply amazed by my Savior. On so many levels. So I want to skim over a couple real quick.

One that has hit me lately, is Hope. I'll be straight up with you, I hate my life. I hate that I sin so much. I hate that I get opportunities to witness and I say no. All these things. I am a child, no man, but a child, that is full of pride. Pride in the appearance that Christ gave him. In the ability that Christ gave him. I look in the mirror, though on the outside I may appear impressed with what I see, I am disgusted.

Literally, the only thing that keeps me going in this, is Christ. Hope that it is all forgiven, and for a purpose. Without faith in this hope that has given me a purpose through grace and holy forgiveness, I would be dead.
But, what kept Christ going? What was His hope? What was it that He looked at, that as Hebrews 12:2 says, He took the punishment for joy. What was this joy?

It was me. And you. It was the one's He created. This was what kept Him going, even as He was beaten and bruised. It was His love for us. What love!

Another, is Forgiveness. In that as I said, I hate myself for what I am. And many a time I am unwilling to forgive myself for this Cosmic Treason. He's already forgiven me... What? How? What Love. How He Loves.

And the last I will go over, is a mixture of both. It is forgiving us, and giving us a reason to hope even in times when we need forgiveness. The hope that, our failure doesn't make this all in vain. It is the hope, that, as long as I run after God, then even as I fall, I will fall forward. Even when I fall, I fall closer to Christ.

Hope, tomorrow is brighter than today, as long as today is passing, and Tomorrow has yet to come.

Thanks for reading,

John Mark,

Hate sin, but eat Chicken.

I know, the Title is silly, but just watch the video below and you will get it.




You see, over the past couple weeks I have been really convicted at the Idea of Hating Sin. I mean, what does it mean to hate sin exactly? Why should we? Is it necessary?

I really got thinking about it as I was talking to a friend, and they started telling me, about how much they hate sin. And I was like, "Wow, that's impressive." And then, I began to ask myself, if I really, truly, hated sin. And the honest answer? Probably not. I mean sure, I hate the feeling of guilt, and knowing that I failed God. I hate that. But if I truly do hate sin, then I wouldn't give it any outlet to survive in my life.

I just really pondered this today. I contemplated what my friend had said. And then I decided to write a lil' something about it. Probably the biggest area in my life that I struggle is lust.
(1 John 1:9, this is my reason for being honest concerning sin.)
But Lust is mostly, if not entirely, thought life.
But you know who controls your thought life? No. Not you. Nah, not Satan. No, Jesus gives us freewill. (And with that freewill, we must take the responsibility for our wrongs.)
All great guesses, but not right, specifically. Media controls our thoughts. Seriously, what you watch on TV, is what you think about.
Let me give you some examples:

My favorite TV show right now, is Psych. It is about this guy, that claims to be Psychic; but in truth is just really perceptive and observant.
My favorite Movie, is Sherlock Holmes. I don't need to explain that one.
And because of these two, I have lately been trying to be as perceptive and observant as possible. I got into a store, and I try to follow ppl, (mostly ppl I know...) without them knowing I am doing that.

Now sure, this could just be a personality quirk. But, let me take it a bit farther:
If I watch a TV show, or movie, or listen to a song, that has an explicit joke, comment, or anything suggestive, then to be perfectly up front, my mind stays on that for some time. And to continue listening to, or watching anything like that, is to give sin an outlet into my mind. And if I do this, then obviously, I don't hate sin.

I was reading Philippians today, and in chapter 4, verses 8, it talks about what we should put our minds on. What ever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

But do we think about what is true? Noble? Right? PURE? Lovely? Admirable? The things of Excellence? Or those that are worthy of Praise? We should!

In Proverbs 3:7 it says to Fear God, and shun evil.... I think God is trying to say something...

So, my goal is to take the appropriate steps towards hating sin.

My main approach? Lining everything I do, say, hear, or watch, with God. Proverbs 3:6 says to acknowledge God in all your ways. So that's my goal.

I hope you find something in this. Thank you for reading.

Live for God, don't glory in yourself.

John Mark,

Culture:

I have been thinking about Culture lately.

What is Culture exactly? Well, simply. Culture is the way of life among a group of people.

But how does Culture affect me?

Before I go deeper into that question, let me chase a rabbit. But in chasing this rabbit I will tell you how I came to this question. But before I chase this rabbit, let me say first that, what I am about to go into is not for the purpose of pride on my part. Not to praise myself, but instead to praise God, my Father. And that you may possibly read this and learn something. And even be inspired to gather your own stories.

This is the Story:

For several months now I have been burdened with this great sense of, uselessness. (Refer back to my earlier post No longer Pointless.)
I would read my Bible as it spoke about the Disciples taking action, and serving, and it scared me. The conclusions that I gathered as I thought more and more about these things. The more I thought the more I was convicted, and frightened. Then I would listen to Lyrics of songs, (Primarily by Lecrae) and I was ashamed of the claims that they made, the ones that I don't live up to.

So, as I got thinking more and more about this, I decided to call in a friend. As we got talking about it, we found out that we were thinking the same things. Literally, the same exact thoughts. So under conviction, urgency, we set forth a plan. But in our plan, we hit a barrier, a pretty big one. A cultural barrier. We went into the rough neighborhoods of our town to talk about Jesus. But how do two white guys, relate to a mostly African American population?
I have no idea. But we spent about an hour talking about what we learned. And formulated another plan.

But you see, Culture is a factor in all witnessing. And witnessing is what we are called to. But we just have to learn to bridge the gaps. These barriers that we face in getting this message out, may be fairly large barriers, but Christ is greater than them.
We just have to address the urgency of this calling, we must answer, we must go!

I read Luke 5:30-32, I think about it. And I am convinced that we should be out into a rough crowd full of poor people rather than in a luxurious church with relatively rich people. Not that I think church is bad, but these people need to be reached.

Paul in 1 Corinthians 9 compared this life to a Marathon. Now, you may now know this, but in November I ran a Marathon. So I understand his comparison all too well.

But picture this, this life as a race and Christ is telling you to run! To go hard for the Lord! And all you have to do is trust Him, and move. But far too often we stand still. Why?? Because we are afraid, we are afraid to fall. But in our fear of falling, we don't realize something that is beyond important in this! That as along as we are running, if we fall, we still move forward. But we still are afraid to slip up, not realizing that in falling, we learn to trust God more. It makes us stronger.

People, we have got to go out! I can tell you in all truth, from experience, that a lack of service is the quickest way to kill both Passion and Faith. (James 2:17.)
It is for this reason that I stop asking people what God is doing in their lives. But rather, what is God doing through their lives.
Because it is all too easy a question to ask, what God is doing to change you. But it is so much different when asking, what is God doing through you that is changing others?

This urgency to go, if ignored, is cruelty to the highest form. Far worse than both Stalin and Hitler. Will you stand aside in silence? Or roar like a Warrior of The Most High God?

My mouth is moving, so let's get these feet moving too.

John Mark,

The Confusion of Love.

Love is so hard to grasp. And to understand. Yet the more you think about it, the more you realize that you are over thinking it.

Love is quite simple. Be kind in all things, treat the one you love in all patience gentleness and kindness. Forgive all things. And never give up on them. And help them become more than their mistakes allow for.

The only reason that Love is so confusing and hard to grasp is not because Love is confusing and hard to grasp. It is because this world, and the culture of sin, has made it so much different than it actually is.

We are surrounded by ideas of what Love is, so naturally we have a hard time trying to figure out what it truly is! Simply, look at Christ, and what He did. Love at it's best point. Purest form.

Or so my ramblings go.

John Mark,